Dating Someone New? Read This.

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When you start dating someone new, it’s a clean slate. You’re getting to know each other. You’re building inside jokes and creating memories together. It’s awesome. But one thing you can’t lose sight of: you’ve just dropped into this person’s life while it was in progress. You’re coming in 10 chapters in or in the middle of the 4th inning, depending on your analogy preference. This means that your new boo has all kinds of things going on, which they were focused on before they met you. Maybe they were in the middle of talking to other girls or guys. Maybe they were re-evaluating their career choice and it’s taking up a lot of space in their brain. Maybe they’ve got some family drama going on.

All of these factors can impact the way a person acts in the early stages of dating. When you forget to consider this point, you might take things personally or jump in and feel really serious about someone soon after you meet. Take some time to gather the full picture of what this person’s life is all about. You need some context.

Social media and texting don’t help this issue. You’ve only gone on two dates, but you’ve exchanged 14,000 text messages, which gives you an illusion of intimacy. You know about the mundane details of this person’s day via their Snapchats and Instagram posts, etc. Combine that with the information you’ve gathered from actually talking face to face and suddenly you feel like you know them much better than you do.

If you meet someone who interests you, jump in and pursue it, absolutely. But realize that it takes time to get a clear and complete picture about what someone’s all about. Dating today can feel like it’s in fast forward mode because of social media and the fact that attention spans are hard to come by. But sometimes you have to hit pause or maybe even rewind in order to lay a foundation for a good relationship.

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