The One Thing We All Forget About Relationships

I have many smart and wonderful friends, but the other night I was out with one especially smart and wonderful one, my pal Katie. She’s been dating a great guy for a while, so I like to chat with her about relationships, especially when I’m having a day when I’m convinced I’m going to have to start liking cats because I’m going to end up single and with 12 of them.

Katie made a point that really stuck with me: the right relationship shouldn’t be difficult. It shouldn’t be endless amounts of work and explaining yourself and drama. It should just be.

When you’re in the warzone that is dating, it’s easy to forget this. Because a lot of times it’s not easy. It’s stressful and mind-numbing and full of highs and lows. So to think that it could be fun and organic is just not even an option.

If you’re spending a lot of time analyzing “What did he/she mean by this?” or “How do I feel about this?” or “Is this really right?” then I’m sorry to have to deliver this news but the answer is no, just no.

I’ve only been in love once (pretty intense crushes on Jimmy Fallon, Gronk, Derek Jeter, and others don’t count, according to experts) so I’m no love doctor, but based on that one time and from what I’ve heard from other people, the real deal just sort of falls into place. Yeah, you have to work at it, but it shouldn’t be an eye-rolling, upset stomach-inducing sort of work.

If you’re wasting a lot of brain power on your relationship, it’s a fun fling or a crush on a starter kit for a relationship, but it’s not the real deal. Hang tight. I wish there was an app that came pre-downloaded on your phone and counted down the hours, days, and minutes until you met The One. But until they release the iPhone 7 which inevitably will have this feature, we’ll all just have to be a bit patient, I suppose.

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