Every person with a pulse has a celebrity crush. For some of my friends, it’s all Ryan Reynolds everything, though I personally think he looks like a loaf of bread. Others are all about that Charlie Hunnam life. My guy friends have it bad for Scarlett Johansson. Personally, I would do virtually anything to be with Jimmy Fallon. I believe in my heart of hearts that he’s a perfect human.
Will I ever date Jimmy Fallon? Probably not because a.) he’s married with children (this is most of the issue) b.) he’s way older than me and c.) he’s a celebrity and the likelihood that we’d find ourselves in the same social circles is slim to none and slim just left town, as my father would say.
And yet, my crush on Jimmy Fallon can help inform my dating habits. How, you ask? Okay, you know in middle school when everyone would wear those What Would Jesus Do bracelets? I approach dating like WWJFD: What Would Jimmy Fallon Do? I know that he has a lot of traits that I find extraordinarily appealing (sense of humor, ability to laugh at himself, cheerful disposition, skillfulness of suit wearing), so I try to analyze whether the real-life people I’m dating behave in a Fallon-ish way. If you take yourself really seriously or are a Negative Nancy, you are certainly not falling in line with WWJFD and therefore I should move on.
In his song “Love Song for No One” John Mayer sings, “Don’t know what I’m looking for. I’ll know it when I see you.” To me, this is bogus. If you’re randomly dating people with no sense of purpose about who you choose to go out with, you’re wasting everyone’s time. Instead, come up with a handful of non-negotiables and seek out people who meet these requirements. If you’re getting stuck on what these requirements should be, look at the people you find most attractive and let them help guide you. What is it you love about Ryan Reynolds, besides his bread face? Is it that he’s really funny on Twitter? That he’s very honest and expressive in interviews? Why does Charlie Hunnam make you all swoony? Do you like someone who seems like they’d be willing to break a rule or two with you? Someone with top notch back muscles? Good to know. And I agree.
Also, remember that while it’s easy to think that these traits might revolve solely around height or hair color, in reality it’s best to dig a little deeper. Think about what will still matter when you’re 90 and in need of someone who can make you laugh as they help you put your dentures in so you can eat your dinner. Eh, yeah, I guess good back muscles are always in fashion no matter your age.