It’s not hard to meet potential partners in 2015. It really isn’t. You’ve got Match and Tinder and OkCupid and Hinge and dozens of other sites and apps. In fact, every day Facebook is trying to tell me about some new thing that I should “download now to meet hot singles in your area!” or something. There are attractive guys/girls (depending on what you’re into) everywhere you look. You’ll probably exchange witty banter with a few of them via one of these sites or apps. Then you’ll go out to a bar and meet some more of them there too. Bingo! You’re killin’ the game, right?
Okay, but no. Here’s the problem:
How many of these people do you actually end up meeting up with and getting to know? If you swap numbers, do you ever get past the surface-y “How was your day” stuff? Even if both of you truly do intend to get together, do those plans actually materialize? It’s rare, right? If you have a decent conversation with 20 people you’re interested in over the course of a few months, you may only end up seeing 5 IRL, as the kids say. And when you look at second date statistics, they’re probably grim. I think back to all of the great, chemistry-infused conversations I’ve had and all of the numbers I have stored in my phone and it’s like these guys end up in some graveyard of Potential Boyfriends That Just Got Stuck as Pen Pals.
It’s sort of baffling, and also a little alarming. In my humble but semi-experienced opinion, this phenomenon happens because a.) people are flaky and b.) we’re so overwhelmed with options that it’s hard to focus our attention. It’s a high class problem, but it’s still an issue. You’re balancing 6 Tinder boos and 3 Hinge boos and that real life boo you sort of have chemistry with at work and then you’re not doing a good job of building a relationship with any of them. It’s raining men/women, but we’re all getting stalled out in this initial chatty phase, which makes it hard to progress with any one person in particular. As a result, we’re causing our own droughts.
Having options is fun and exciting. There are few things more exhilarating in life than Tindering with abandon. But let’s not forget to make some good ole fashioned date plans. A little chit chat over some vodka tonics or a movie, perhaps? It’s a lost art.