The holidays can be an obnoxious time to be single. Everyone is making Thanksgiving plans and picking out Christmas trees and getting engaged, plus then you get to see your entire extended family and field questions about your single status. Like, yes Aunt Ginny, I’m still single. Yes, I’ve tried online dating. No, I don’t want to meet your friend Margie from Book Club’s son. I’m good.
It can be demoralizing.
This year I’ll be the only single one at my family’s Thanksgiving setup, and luckily there are no children in the equation or else I might get stuck with a packet of crayons and a seat at a Frozen-themed table. But I’ve learned that there’s really no shame in being single. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about being selective as you date. There’s no shame in making a conscious choice about when you are or are not ready for a relationship.
It can sometimes feel like a race to find a significant other. All of your friends met someone, so you’d better hurry up. Your ex has a new girlfriend, so he’s ahead of you. Some girl you played soccer with in high school is married, so what’s your issue? I used to be embarrassed about the fact that I’m single and dating and trying but haven’t found the perfect person yet. I write a lot about this topic, and I’d be ashamed that people I’ve been on dates with or people who only kind of know me would see it and judge me.
Now I know there’s no shame in my game. There’s no shame in going out and meeting new people and seeing if you click. It’s also okay to opt not to do that if that’s not something that’s important to you. You’re not more or less of an adult based on whether you wear a ring on your left finger or live with another person who willingly puts up with your quirks. Being single isn’t pitiful or tragic or something that needs fixing. There are both single and relationship people who are totally satisfied, just like there are both single and relationship people who are completely miserable. Being “taken” doesn’t necessarily guarantee eternal happiness.
This is just a friendly reminder as we head into the holidays. Another PSA: Pillsbury ready-to-bake cookies are equally as delicious as the kind you bust your ass to make, so don’t be embarrassed about bringing them as your contribution to the meal. Those things are GOOD.