Somehow our culture has created this Jets versus Sharks vibe between single people and relationship people. It’s a little more subtle than that (and less dancing too, unfortunately), but there’s still a rivalry. If you’re coupled up, you get to sit with the grownups at Thanksgiving. Single? Go help little Jayden and Tinsley cut their turkey up into manageable bites. Couple people get to bring a plus one to a wedding, but singles don’t because your cousin doesn’t want you to bring your Tinder date you’ve been out with three times to her $75 a plate wedding. Which is sort of fair.
But this divide is unfortunate. We’re not that different, really, and in fact it’s my firm belief that every single person should be friends with at least a few people who are in super serious relationships.
Why is this the case?
Because relationship people who are also your dear friends help you to keep the hope alive that you, too, will one day meet the right person for you. When you’re single and are only around single people it can be easy to turn to your best friend and go, “Wait, this is hopeless, right? Like, should we just throw in the towel and marry each other?”
But when you’ve got friends who have successfully made it through the beautiful war that is dating and come out the other side, they can cheer you on. They’re like the people who stand on the sidewalk and root for the marathon runners.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve texted my relationship-y friends at all hours of the day and night being like, “The dream is over. I’m going to be single forever” and they firmly reassure me that it’s not and I won’t. They remind me how many crappy dates they trotted out on before they met their boo. And then I think to myself, “Damn, you’re right. And you guys are so cute. I’ll keep the hope alive for another day.”
With that said, I’d like to take a moment to thank the happily taken people in my life who consistently encourage me to keep the hope alive.
This is for Peter, who works weird hours so I can text him after I get home from a date where the guy calls me the wrong name and he can be like, “Just chill. It’s fine. You’re fine” and I remember he’s right.
It’s for TJ who is always there for my random “I HATE DATING I WILL DIE ALONE WHILE MY CATS THAT I WAS FORCED TO GET EAT MY FACE” rants.
It’s for Katie, who calmly and consistently reminds me that she met her fiancé when she was 29 and I’m 27 and who even cares about age so just zip it.
It’s for Eva, who firmly believes that I’m relationship material even when I’m not feeling like it, and somehow gets me to feel like it again.
If you’ve got relationship friends, lean on them for support. And if you’re a relationship friend, know that single people rely on you as a morale booster, so thank you for all that you do.