Why A Short Stint on Tinder Should be a Mandatory Requirement for Everyone

Why Everyone Should Have to Try Dating in 2016

My parents not-so-secretly think I suck at dating. They try to act like this isn’t true, but every time I talk to them, it’s clear that deep down they fear I have no earthly idea what I’m doing and that I will never successfully produce grandchildren. To be fair, sometimes I actually don’t know what the hell is happening in terms of my dating life. But I also think that after living 27 years on this planet, I’m well-equipped enough to know how to listen to my gut/heart and that I’ll figure it out eventually.

So if I’m confident in my dating efforts, why are my loved ones skeptical of my approach? The issue is that dating in 2016 is truly its own language. And if you haven’t dated in a while you can’t fully process how complicated this language is. To be a single person you have to learn a set of strange and illogical rules that are constantly changing. You know those nightmares where you skip a class all semester and then have to try to take the final? Yeah, it’s like that. You’re just winging it as you wade through emojis, decipher Snapchats, and feel overwhelmed with potential matches. Everything moves at warp speed, too, so that makes it even more of a challenge trying to figure out what the hell is going on at any given moment.

Look, I’m sure dating was always complicated. I bet my parents had their struggles and my friends who have been in relationships for years put in their time being really confused too. But things have reached a whole new level of “wtf?” when we added texting, dozens of apps, and social media into the equation. It’s gotten even easier to just fade to black on someone instead of explaining what you’re actually thinking. You can be talking to seven different people at once, but never really get to know anything about any of them besides what they like to do for fun, how long they’ve lived in your particular city, and what they do for work. It’s a strange, strange world.

My proposal is that anyone who offers dating advice, solicited or not, should have to spend one week trying to date in 2016. This means your parents, your older siblings who got married in 2002, your best friend who’s been with her boyfriend since you were 19, all of these people would have to hop on Tinder and see what’s up. I want them out trying to find someone reasonable at a bar. They need to be juggling a few different prospects and learning about ghosting and deciphering text messages. Unless you’ve really experienced it firsthand, you can’t fully appreciate the idiosyncrasies and the intricacies that are involved with dating in 2016. I think this would be a quick way to eliminate the, “But have you tried _____?” or “Maybe you should ______” kinds of conversations that drive single people up the wall. Disclaimer: after one week all taken people have to get off Tinder. I already had to tell a friend that I saw her boyfriend on two different dating apps. I don’t need to be put into that situation again, please and thank you.

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