The Answer is No, You’re Not Being Too Picky

Why Being Picky Leads to #RelationshipGoals

Single people are frequently asked if maybeee they’re being too picky. The question is posed in an innocent, unassuming way, but the implication is that yes, you’re being too picky and this is why you’re still single.

I guess there are instances when it’s possible to be too picky. When you’re obsessing about height, maybe, or if you’re too hung up on the details of someone’s job. A person can’t control their height and jobs can change, so there are more important things to worry about. But when it comes to the way you feel when you’re with that person, being picky is a must. We’re told that we shouldn’t expect a scene from a romantic comedy where we see fireworks every time our boo walks into the room. Instead, we should lower our expectations a bit. Find someone who respects you. Who will be a good husband/wife and parent.

This is smart advice, definitely, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to hold out for fireworks/giddiness/butterflies in addition to respect and strong parenting skills. You should wait until you find someone you can’t get enough of. Forever is a long time, and if you’re going to commit to that I think it’s reasonable to want to feel a real connection with this person. I’m not talking solely about lust or pure physical attraction, which fade. I’m talking, “You’re the best human on this planet and I can’t wait to see you again” which is something that keeps a marriage fun even when not-so-fun things happen in the future.

I look at couples like Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell or Eric Decker and Jessie James Decker and I’m like, “Yes. That.” You can tell these people genuinely love spending time with their significant others. It doesn’t hurt that they’re all a bunch of smokeshows, but check these couples out on social media and you’ll see plenty of videos and pictures where they’re just genuinely enjoying the other person’s company. That’s something to hold out for, and it’s not being picky to want to wait until you find it. Actually, that’s setting yourself up for the ideal type of marriage.

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