This past weekend I was hungover and standing in my kitchen wearing a tank top that read TACOS & TEQUILA as I prepared to head out to the pool. I was digging around in my freezer for some popsicles when my best friend from college Snapchatted me. Roughly 600 miles away she was wedding dress shopping with her mom.
Wedding dress shopping.
I thought about this as I stood in my single girl apartment and analyzed my current life situation. I needed some coconut water and a nap and she needed to find the perfect gown to wear as she marries the love of her life. Our situations were polar opposites. This got me thinking: who’s right and who’s wrong? Clearly it seemed like one of us must be doing something abnormal. What’s the appropriate course of action on a Saturday when you’re 28 years old?
After fighting off some self doubt, I realized that we’re actually both right. When you hit your late twenties or early thirties it can feel like there are set checkpoints in place that you’re supposed to be passing through because half of your Facebook timeline is currently hitting them. If you’re not in a serious relationship or engaged or reproducing when everyone else is, you must be falling behind. In reality, the opposite is true. There’s no universally accepted schedule when it comes to doing grownup things. You shouldn’t feel like there’s a gun to your head forcing you to take your life in a certain direction just because half of your high school soccer team or all your mom’s Book Club friends’ kids are doing it, as she so frequently reminds you. If wedding dress shopping is the point in your life you’re ready for, that’s amazing and exciting and perfect. If you’re more about swiping on Bumble and finding the best half-price bottle of wine special with your girlfriends, totally cool too. Do it up.
I love social media probably more than most people, but I also know it feeds this “everyone but me” mentality.
Everyone’s in a relationship but me.
Everyone’s getting engaged but me.
Everyone’s buying a house but me.
As hard as it is, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you focus on what it feels like you should be doing. Know that if you’re enjoying your life and are content, you’re where you’re supposed to be right now. You have the rest of your life to fall in love, get married, and parent (if you so choose to do any or all of those things). If you’re ready to do that right now, perfect. If not, you’re not falling behind or immature or struggling. Wear your goofy tank top or plan a wedding or get into a new relationship. Do what you want to do, solely because it feels right, not because there’s outside pressure on you. There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s and there’s really and truly no wrong way to approach life milestones when you’re in your twenties and thirties.